i am not enjoying this whole "getting older" thing. i remember when i was just beginning highschool and couldnt wait to be 23, like i am now. little did i know!!!! i dont like becoming an adult. i hate bills. i hate work. school is SO much more stressful, and my attempt at higher education is going to give me a heartattack!

but so many things are unravelling that i just dont like. spending time with my boyfriend (who i love more than anything, dont get me wrong) leaves me with little free time to do much else. all my girlfriends have their other halves or have moved to california. and my guy friends are a little apprehensive to hang out with me. i feel like i dont have the time to go out and just blow off steam like the good old days! i dont know what steam i was even blowing off because i am more stressed out now than ever before!

one of my professors the other day told me not to even pursue a graduate degree because its pointless and will only give me a bump up on the pay scale. how did an academic professor just discourage me from wanting to further my education?? and what's wrong with more pay?? i told another one of my professor's i wanted to work at a high-profile magazine like vogue or elle. he told me to not even bother because those jobs go to better, smarter students who graduate from harvard, yale or cornell. way to crush my dreams, huh? i was left baffled by the both of these peeps!

so now i am so confused about my life. should i even go to graduate school? where do i go? how do i leave the man i want to one day marry when that will break my heart? how can i convince him to maybe come with me and give up the life he has here? where will i actually be able to get a job? how can i get the eff outta vegas?

seriously, all i am asking life for is an answer. my dream situation would be to live close to my family, with a degree and with a super job. is that too much? i need life to throw me a sign.........

Thirteen Things I want to improve about myself 1. I am trying so desperately hard not to be a jealous girlfriend and trust my boyfriend. it is SO hard for me! i feel so bad for him for having to deal with my past issues. but im trying.... 2. i want to have a career. i like my job...sometimes...but i would like to have a steady career where i actually make a reasonable salary. im going to a career fair this afternoon, so wish me luck! 3. i want to be healthy. im "supposed" to be dieting, but last night i ate a humongous cake at my boyfriend's house. how do i get the will power to work out and eat well? 4. i want to do more things to relax my sanity...like blogging more, making collages, and my quote book. those are things for ME but i need to set time out to do them. 5. i need to keep in better touch with my friends. since my boyfriend, the only person i really talk to is jen on our lunch breaks. i need to make an effort to call peeps and say hi. 6. im trying to communicate more nicely with the people in my life. i get very heated and it can come across as mean. im trying to be more calm. 7. i want to travel more. on the weekends, i do homework and lay around watching lifetime movies. i want to be more energized and motivated to go out and live life. 8. i want to read and write more....books for both, mainly. 9. i want to repair my friendship with sara. she requested me as a friend on myspace, but we havent talked in a loooong time. i dont even know why we stopped being friends. but she was awesome and i had a great time with her. i hope she and i can work it out and put the past behind us. 10. I want to communicate with my brother more....we used to be best friends but grew apart as he left for college. 11. i want to be successful as a professional writer, not write things for a mag without even a byline. 12. i want to get my own place and actually move out of my parents! 13. im happy.....but i want to be secure with my life and myself. any suggestions????? Links to other Thursday Thirteens!1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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Thirteen Reasons Why Life is Funny 1. the past always manages to coincide with the present. it seems as if when you take one step forward, you take ten back. the present and future are hard that way. while your body is in the present, your mind is in the past. 2. i feel like an idiot when i am at work. i know im rather intelligent, yet at least twice a day at work, i am made to feel stupid. and more often than most, its by machines. 3. i think my ethics teacher doesnt like me. i have NEVER had a teacher not like me. but she is reluctant to write me a grad school reccommendation. that actually makes me feel like an idiot as well! 4. life is rather serene and good right now. yet i have this nagging thought in the back of my mind that SOMETHING bad is going to occur, and life will blow up right in my face. what am i afraid of? i dont want to live hesitantly, yet i just cant shake this feeling. 5. i am getting paid right now to write this ever-so-fascinating blog!! ha 6. in one of my classes, we do nothing but watch reality tv all day. i love paying tuition to watch television. 7. my younger brother and i will graduate from college in the same exact semester. i am such a loser. 8. my boyfriend works with his ex...and she texted him today. is that wierd? is it just me, or should she step off? 9. i have this feeling that my boyfriend's roomate just does not like me. we were good friends before, but when i started dating my boyfriend, things got a little wierd. why is it that change in life changes ever so slightly, people change a great deal? 10. a chick who is younger than me delegates my job duties at work. 11. its taken me 6 freakin years to finish college. 12. im on a "diet" and last night i ate a bazillion frosted animal crackers. 13. this blog is the most interesting thing ive done all day!

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guilty pleasures

ok the greatest thing on television right now is "project runway"!!!! we watched an episode of it yesterday in my media&reality class for school....i know life is rough huh?....and it was one of the best shows ever! it has 8 ego-crazy fashion designers all competing to win some contest for a design contract. its on thursday nights at 10pm on the bravo channel...its seriously hilarious!

liar, liar, pants on fire

did anyone catch oprah on thrusday?? stupid question, i know....but thursday afternoon, oprah brought author james frey back onto the show, famed author of the NY Times best seller "A Million Little Pieces" and its sequel, "My Friend Leonard". Now, i read both of these books and i was absolutely hooked to them! I had an ex-boyfriend who was deep into drug use, was pathological in every way imaginable and had many demons that terrorized him....hence, the drug use. but this book helped me to understand the disease that affects him and many people worldwide, ruining many lives, families and futures. I couldnt help but want to contact James Frey and tell him how his tragedies made me want to reach out to him and those in need. How my heart broke as his did while he was writing it. That book affected me and my soul in ways unimaginable, and i quickly recommended it to others and even passed the book on to my best friend jen.

Needless to say, the book was a LIE, a total fabrication. Many of the situations and people in the book were not real and did not happend. James Frey concocted such an intricate story...and let me tell you, it was definitely believable....just to make a quick buck. As a person who was deeply touched by his story, I am so outraged and I feel so betrayed. It hurts me to know I fell for someone's lies, once again. James Frey betrayed ever reader and every believer who took his story and wanted to change their lives, making this world and the people in it better.

Now I think even while in recovery, Frey is suffering from his same demons: lying!! He has not only dishonored himself, his family and the rehab center who is trying to help better their lives, but also every reader who took his story to heart. How dare James Frey make money off of a real disease that kills so many, portraying himself as a hero and a survivor, when he is technically nothing but a thief.

I guess this story bothers me so much because, over and over again throughout life, I feel like I am believing in people and trusting people who just keep turning out to be phony illusions. Where does the deceit end? How can these people just toss their morals away with yestersday's trash, just for money? What's ever worse, is that this revelation has only caused more people to go out and buy this book, thus rewarding James Frey for his dishonest behavior.

As a journalist and a writer, I feel like this story, and every person who praised his work, have lost their integrity. Integrity and ethics are the cornerstone of a journalist's career, and without the trust of the public, they have nothing. I am deeply angered that James Frey disregarded the purpose of being an author. Shame on you!

thursday thirteen beeootches!

Thirteen Places a 23 UNLV student loves to eat!! 1. Roberto's Taco Shop......great taquitos! The best when you are seriously inebriated. 2. Jack in the Box...or as Jen affectionally refers to it as: Jack in My Yak. We night clown it, but Jack tacos fo rock!! 3. El Pollo Loco......pretty good tortillas4. Taco Bell or Dirty Del Taco......great burritos and quesadillas5. Any sushi place....preferrably the "all you can eat" and "all you can drink" because that means free Saki!!! 6. Osaka, the japanese restaurant. Its the bomb because they cook the food right in front of you in the Teppan Yaki room. And they have great alcohol.7. In n Out Burger!!! The best burgers and fries in Vegas. I am SO sorry to those of you foolios who live on the east coast, because In n Out is only in Nevada, Cali and Arizona. And its healthier because you can get your burgers "Protein Style", meaning wrapped in lettuce. Good for that new year's resolution of swearing off carbs!8. Sonic Burger...good chicken sandwiches and hot dogs. 9. Cappriotti's!!!! This is, by far, the best sandwich place you will seriously ever eat!! They have tons of signature sandwiches, especially "The Bobbi", which is Thanksgiving on sourdough!10. Santora's Pizza.....This is straight out of Buffalo, NY where my mom is from. My fam orders pizza, wings and chicken fingers from there every Sunday nite. Its a ritual. 11. The RoadRunner!!!! They have killer chicken fingers, mac and cheese, nachos and BEER!!! 12. Mr. Lucky's 24/7 at the Hard Rock Hotel......this place is the bomb diggity! it is a tradition with me and all my friends since highschool....we go there around 3am on friday and saturday nights for the best nachos in town. and jen is partial to the prime rib. but they have all sorts of great food!13. Last but not least....my favorite place to eat is my parents house. i dont care who you are, NO ONE beats your mom's cooking. she is the best in the whole, wide world!! :) Links to other Thursday Thirteens!1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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hmmmm

alright, its tuesday throughout the world, so that means im at work!!! however, i am not a happy camper. the job of a lowly intern BLOWS!!! i am just so lethargic towards life. everything else is absolutely fabulous....except for work. i am so reluctant to go! but i know its important to work here if i ever want to get the proper experience. and i only work 8-5, three days a week. am i just being a total baby? ive never worked at a job longer than 9 monts....i get so stir crazy! but im trying my hardest to hold on! what to do....what to do! :(

halfway through january!

i know ive touched on this a little bit before, but i think its an important subject to address and for people to pay attention to. now that its halfway thru january, we are very far away from the holiday season and everyone's "good will towards man." however, we all need to remember that life is hard for a lot of people ALL year long, not just in december. radio stations have toy drives and canned food drives for the holidays, but people go hungry and go without all year long! i made one of my new year's resolutions to be a better human....be more kind, giving and generous. around where i work there are a lot of homeless people begging, so i make it a point to give them money while im on my lunchbreak. i am very blessed and i think its important to give to people in need. i dont care what they spend it on...life is hard and sometimes people just need a break! im being kinder on the road while i drive because i believe that if i am courteous to someone, they will go forth and do the same for another. kind of like a "pay it forward" strategy, which was developed from a very bright premise. i cleaned out my closet and gave two huge bags of clothes and shoes to Big Brothers, Big Sisters; they will give that stuff out, for free, to children in need. My boss goes to Goodwill once a week and buys clothes for 50 cents. She then sends them to children in Iraq who are living throughout the devastation of war so they can be blessed too.

I am addressing everyone out there in cyberspace....dont forgot the status of our world just because christmas is over. remember...some countries probably didnt know it was christmas at all!! I hope everyone made a resolution as simple as just to be a better and nicer human. Things start little and grow bigger....many things can start with YOU! Kindness is contagious....so start spreading the love! :)