RachaelinVegas

2006-02-10T16:20:00.000-08:00

i am not enjoying this whole "getting older" thing. i remember when i was just beginning highschool and couldnt wait to be 23, like i am now. little did i know!!!! i dont like becoming an adult. i hate bills. i hate work. school is SO much more stressful, and my attempt at higher education is going to give me a heartattack!

but so many things are unravelling that i just dont like. spending time with my boyfriend (who i love more than anything, dont get me wrong) leaves me with little free time to do much else. all my girlfriends have their other halves or have moved to california. and my guy friends are a little apprehensive to hang out with me. i feel like i dont have the time to go out and just blow off steam like the good old days! i dont know what steam i was even blowing off because i am more stressed out now than ever before!

one of my professors the other day told me not to even pursue a graduate degree because its pointless and will only give me a bump up on the pay scale. how did an academic professor just discourage me from wanting to further my education?? and what's wrong with more pay?? i told another one of my professor's i wanted to work at a high-profile magazine like vogue or elle. he told me to not even bother because those jobs go to better, smarter students who graduate from harvard, yale or cornell. way to crush my dreams, huh? i was left baffled by the both of these peeps!

so now i am so confused about my life. should i even go to graduate school? where do i go? how do i leave the man i want to one day marry when that will break my heart? how can i convince him to maybe come with me and give up the life he has here? where will i actually be able to get a job? how can i get the eff outta vegas?

seriously, all i am asking life for is an answer. my dream situation would be to live close to my family, with a degree and with a super job. is that too much? i need life to throw me a sign.........

2006-02-09T10:28:00.000-08:00

Thirteen Things I want to improve about myself

1. I am trying so desperately hard not to be a jealous girlfriend and trust my boyfriend. it is SO hard for me! i feel so bad for him for having to deal with my past issues. but im trying....

2. i want to have a career. i like my job...sometimes...but i would like to have a steady career where i actually make a reasonable salary. im going to a career fair this afternoon, so wish me luck!

3. i want to be healthy. im "supposed" to be dieting, but last night i ate a humongous cake at my boyfriend's house. how do i get the will power to work out and eat well?

4. i want to do more things to relax my sanity...like blogging more, making collages, and my quote book. those are things for ME but i need to set time out to do them.

5. i need to keep in better touch with my friends. since my boyfriend, the only person i really talk to is jen on our lunch breaks. i need to make an effort to call peeps and say hi.

6. im trying to communicate more nicely with the people in my life. i get very heated and it can come across as mean. im trying to be more calm.

7. i want to travel more. on the weekends, i do homework and lay around watching lifetime movies. i want to be more energized and motivated to go out and live life.

8. i want to read and write more....books for both, mainly.

9. i want to repair my friendship with sara. she requested me as a friend on myspace, but we havent talked in a loooong time. i dont even know why we stopped being friends. but she was awesome and i had a great time with her. i hope she and i can work it out and put the past behind us.

10. I want to communicate with my brother more....we used to be best friends but grew apart as he left for college.

11. i want to be successful as a professional writer, not write things for a mag without even a byline.

12. i want to get my own place and actually move out of my parents!

13. im happy.....but i want to be secure with my life and myself. any suggestions?????

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2006-02-02T11:23:00.000-08:00

Thirteen Reasons Why Life is Funny

1. the past always manages to coincide with the present. it seems as if when you take one step forward, you take ten back. the present and future are hard that way. while your body is in the present, your mind is in the past.

2. i feel like an idiot when i am at work. i know im rather intelligent, yet at least twice a day at work, i am made to feel stupid. and more often than most, its by machines.

3. i think my ethics teacher doesnt like me. i have NEVER had a teacher not like me. but she is reluctant to write me a grad school reccommendation. that actually makes me feel like an idiot as well!

4. life is rather serene and good right now. yet i have this nagging thought in the back of my mind that SOMETHING bad is going to occur, and life will blow up right in my face. what am i afraid of? i dont want to live hesitantly, yet i just cant shake this feeling.

5. i am getting paid right now to write this ever-so-fascinating blog!! ha

6. in one of my classes, we do nothing but watch reality tv all day. i love paying tuition to watch television.

7. my younger brother and i will graduate from college in the same exact semester. i am such a loser.

8. my boyfriend works with his ex...and she texted him today. is that wierd? is it just me, or should she step off?

9. i have this feeling that my boyfriend's roomate just does not like me. we were good friends before, but when i started dating my boyfriend, things got a little wierd. why is it that change in life changes ever so slightly, people change a great deal?

10. a chick who is younger than me delegates my job duties at work.

11. its taken me 6 freakin years to finish college.

12. im on a "diet" and last night i ate a bazillion frosted animal crackers.

13. this blog is the most interesting thing ive done all day!

guilty pleasures

2006-02-02T10:45:00.000-08:00

ok the greatest thing on television right now is "project runway"!!!! we watched an episode of it yesterday in my media&reality class for school....i know life is rough huh?....and it was one of the best shows ever! it has 8 ego-crazy fashion designers all competing to win some contest for a design contract. its on thursday nights at 10pm on the bravo channel...its seriously hilarious!

liar, liar, pants on fire

2006-01-28T17:37:00.000-08:00

did anyone catch oprah on thrusday?? stupid question, i know....but thursday afternoon, oprah brought author james frey back onto the show, famed author of the NY Times best seller "A Million Little Pieces" and its sequel, "My Friend Leonard". Now, i read both of these books and i was absolutely hooked to them! I had an ex-boyfriend who was deep into drug use, was pathological in every way imaginable and had many demons that terrorized him....hence, the drug use. but this book helped me to understand the disease that affects him and many people worldwide, ruining many lives, families and futures. I couldnt help but want to contact James Frey and tell him how his tragedies made me want to reach out to him and those in need. How my heart broke as his did while he was writing it. That book affected me and my soul in ways unimaginable, and i quickly recommended it to others and even passed the book on to my best friend jen.

Needless to say, the book was a LIE, a total fabrication. Many of the situations and people in the book were not real and did not happend. James Frey concocted such an intricate story...and let me tell you, it was definitely believable....just to make a quick buck. As a person who was deeply touched by his story, I am so outraged and I feel so betrayed. It hurts me to know I fell for someone's lies, once again. James Frey betrayed ever reader and every believer who took his story and wanted to change their lives, making this world and the people in it better.

Now I think even while in recovery, Frey is suffering from his same demons: lying!! He has not only dishonored himself, his family and the rehab center who is trying to help better their lives, but also every reader who took his story to heart. How dare James Frey make money off of a real disease that kills so many, portraying himself as a hero and a survivor, when he is technically nothing but a thief.

I guess this story bothers me so much because, over and over again throughout life, I feel like I am believing in people and trusting people who just keep turning out to be phony illusions. Where does the deceit end? How can these people just toss their morals away with yestersday's trash, just for money? What's ever worse, is that this revelation has only caused more people to go out and buy this book, thus rewarding James Frey for his dishonest behavior.

As a journalist and a writer, I feel like this story, and every person who praised his work, have lost their integrity. Integrity and ethics are the cornerstone of a journalist's career, and without the trust of the public, they have nothing. I am deeply angered that James Frey disregarded the purpose of being an author. Shame on you!

thursday thirteen beeootches!

2006-01-19T15:00:00.000-08:00

Thirteen Places a 23 UNLV student loves to eat!! 1. Roberto's Taco Shop......great taquitos! The best when you are seriously inebriated. 2. Jack in the Box...or as Jen affectionally refers to it as: Jack in My Yak. We night clown it, but Jack tacos fo rock!! 3. El Pollo Loco......pretty good tortillas4. Taco Bell or Dirty Del Taco......great burritos and quesadillas5. Any sushi place....preferrably the "all you can eat" and "all you can drink" because that means free Saki!!! 6. Osaka, the japanese restaurant. Its the bomb because they cook the food right in front of you in the Teppan Yaki room. And they have great alcohol.7. In n Out Burger!!! The best burgers and fries in Vegas. I am SO sorry to those of you foolios who live on the east coast, because In n Out is only in Nevada, Cali and Arizona. And its healthier because you can get your burgers "Protein Style", meaning wrapped in lettuce. Good for that new year's resolution of swearing off carbs!8. Sonic Burger...good chicken sandwiches and hot dogs. 9. Cappriotti's!!!! This is, by far, the best sandwich place you will seriously ever eat!! They have tons of signature sandwiches, especially "The Bobbi", which is Thanksgiving on sourdough!10. Santora's Pizza.....This is straight out of Buffalo, NY where my mom is from. My fam orders pizza, wings and chicken fingers from there every Sunday nite. Its a ritual. 11. The RoadRunner!!!! They have killer chicken fingers, mac and cheese, nachos and BEER!!! 12. Mr. Lucky's 24/7 at the Hard Rock Hotel......this place is the bomb diggity! it is a tradition with me and all my friends since highschool....we go there around 3am on friday and saturday nights for the best nachos in town. and jen is partial to the prime rib. but they have all sorts of great food!13. Last but not least....my favorite place to eat is my parents house. i dont care who you are, NO ONE beats your mom's cooking. she is the best in the whole, wide world!! :)
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hmmmm

2006-01-17T09:24:00.000-08:00

alright, its tuesday throughout the world, so that means im at work!!! however, i am not a happy camper. the job of a lowly intern BLOWS!!! i am just so lethargic towards life. everything else is absolutely fabulous....except for work. i am so reluctant to go! but i know its important to work here if i ever want to get the proper experience. and i only work 8-5, three days a week. am i just being a total baby? ive never worked at a job longer than 9 monts....i get so stir crazy! but im trying my hardest to hold on! what to do....what to do! :(

halfway through january!

2006-01-13T08:32:00.000-08:00

i know ive touched on this a little bit before, but i think its an important subject to address and for people to pay attention to. now that its halfway thru january, we are very far away from the holiday season and everyone's "good will towards man." however, we all need to remember that life is hard for a lot of people ALL year long, not just in december. radio stations have toy drives and canned food drives for the holidays, but people go hungry and go without all year long! i made one of my new year's resolutions to be a better human....be more kind, giving and generous. around where i work there are a lot of homeless people begging, so i make it a point to give them money while im on my lunchbreak. i am very blessed and i think its important to give to people in need. i dont care what they spend it on...life is hard and sometimes people just need a break! im being kinder on the road while i drive because i believe that if i am courteous to someone, they will go forth and do the same for another. kind of like a "pay it forward" strategy, which was developed from a very bright premise. i cleaned out my closet and gave two huge bags of clothes and shoes to Big Brothers, Big Sisters; they will give that stuff out, for free, to children in need. My boss goes to Goodwill once a week and buys clothes for 50 cents. She then sends them to children in Iraq who are living throughout the devastation of war so they can be blessed too.

I am addressing everyone out there in cyberspace....dont forgot the status of our world just because christmas is over. remember...some countries probably didnt know it was christmas at all!! I hope everyone made a resolution as simple as just to be a better and nicer human. Things start little and grow bigger....many things can start with YOU! Kindness is contagious....so start spreading the love! :)

2006-01-12T08:39:00.000-08:00

This Thursday: 13 things Rachael is NOT fond of!
1. I do not like Paris Hilton. She has made a career out of being a slut! She has more money than God, yet never donates her money or her time to worthy causes. Nations are crumbling and she's busy planning parties at Vegas clubs. I wish someone would punch her in the face. She needs to get a clue!2. I do not like Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, especially with his opinion towards post-partum depression. When he actually births a child into this world, he can say whatever he likes. Until then, he should be quiet because his "All the Right Moves" days are over!3. I dont like bad drivers. Im not saying im the greatest, but I hate when people go super slow in the fast lane. We're all trying to get somewhere, I just wish peeps on the road would pay a little bit more attention. 4. I do not like when people are late for things. I try to respect people, and I always make it a point to be on time and not hold others up when Im sure they have lots of things to do. I wish everyone could give me the same respect. 5. As I have voiced before, im not liking Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie right now. Brad gave Jen a raw deal!! Its hard enough to break up with someone without it ALL over the news, and then find out he's with a hottt little number and got her pregnant! 6. I hate the social stigma behind living in Vegas. Despite the fact that I do live here, I am not a club rat...i go to school and i work, just like the majority of the population does in this country. I dont like stereotypes. And PS...i dont live in a hotel!!! 7. I dont like the high-end mall employees here. They are SO rude to the public just because they work at Neiman Marcus. Their employees should go to sensitivity training as part of their orientation because they are mean!
8. I hate the silly little boys who email me on MySpace to say im "hot and we should meet up". buddy, you are dreaming!!!! I dont want to hear from guys i dont even know about how he and i should hang out! thats not what the ladies like. MySpace is for FRIENDS, not an attempt to get laid. Guys like that are such dorks!!9. I dont like reruns on television. I know this one is lame, but actors make SO much money, that i think they should work a little bit more than just a few episodes a season. Reruns are so boring! As an avid fan of television, I would like some new shows!10. I dont like being bored at work. As a measly intern, i only make $8.25 an hour, so I need all the hours per week I can get! But its boring here and I always get sent home early...11. I dont like tomatoes. Thats it, enough said. 12. I dont like SPAM in my email. It is SO annoying. How do places get my email address anyways? I am not important! Dont email me about how to increase my penis size or to look at naked ladies. SPAM is so lame. 13. Last but not least...I am not fond of mean & judgemental people. We are all fighting the same battle in life. Everyone deserves respect and courtesy. No one is better than anyone. I think the world would be such a more peaceful place if everyone made an effort to just be nice and smile once in a while!!
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whoa "brangelina"

2006-01-11T18:05:00.000-08:00

whats up peeps!! afternoon a very cozy afternoon of soap operas and chatting with my friends, i read trent's blog, and HOLY HELL!!!! Angelina is preggo with brad pitt's love child!! havent they ever heard of the pull out method?? i hate guys like brad pitt...they cheat on their wives and lie to them, and then get their misstresses pregnant out of wedlock!! karma's a bitch brad pitt, and what goes around comes around....it just might take a lil bit, but i hope you get a lil taste of what you deserve. have fun hooked to angelina for the rest of your life! i hope he doesnt get tired of her like he did jen, or she get tired of him like she did billy bob. is it kind of sad im obsessed with this?? i just dont like boys like that!!

Everyone who's anyone!!!

2006-01-09T19:49:00.000-08:00

Ok everybody out there in cyberspace....as an english major i am excellent at deciphering which books should be used to even out the legs of tables, and which books were written for a reason, find us for a reason and change our lives in ways unimaginable!! Therefore, everyone should run to their nearest bookstore and dive into "A Million Little Pieces" by James Frey. It is, hands down, one the the greatest books of strife, feelings, emotions, life, and accomplishment that ive ever read. This book found me and I read it for a reason...it changed my life and my mind and I think everyone who's anyone out in the world should give it a chance. trust me, you wont regret it!

to everything...turn, turn, turn?

2006-01-09T15:41:00.000-08:00

i was stalking "pink is the new blog" because trent's is one of my favorite blogspots and i read about how hillary swank and chad lowe are breaking up!!!!! normally, i love gossip, but it sort of made me sad for them...and then duh, i reflected upon my own life. im sort of sad....but i dont understand why. i think its because i absolutely HATE change, even on the dawn of a new year or a "new start". maybe thats why grad school is bothering me so much....the fact that things have to change: me, my family, my home, my life, my future, the security with my friends and family...i could go on forever. the last year (or 2) was VERY difficult for me, moving on from the end of relationships that i held dear, starting a new life i wasnt used to. everyday is still a struggle, but im trying with all of my might to stay afloat. and thats just the thang: it makes me sick to my stomach to relive the things this year that i had to over the last few years, with the ending of important relationships in my life. but i have to say the beginning of this year is lookin up in a very positive fashion, but it scares me when i have to make decisions of change that will affect the hope i have in this year.

jen, i GREATLY admire you!! see everyone, jen graduated college, applied for jobs in cali, packed up all her shit and moved on up to the west coast, all by her lonesome. thats some serious bravery!!! now she has a career, a great guy and a bomb house right on balboa island. jen, i have to tell you how proud i am of you for taking life by its hands and jumping in full force. this occured to me on saturday as i watched you move the last pieces of your life in vegas all the way to newport. success stories like that give me a lot of hope.

bottom line of my blog for the day is i HATE change, and every day of our lives, something changes. im just sick of all the changes ive made over the last few years because they were hard and painful. but no regrets, and in a way im glad for them, because ive learned some serious life lessons along the way that i would never trade for anything, and that change brought me to today, where as i sit here in front of my computer, i am happy!!! anyways, everyone have a great day! peace out

where do i go?

2006-01-08T17:43:00.000-08:00

Im really stressed out right now!! After a serene weekend of not working and watching tv, i sat down to work on my graduate school applications. and now im freakin out! where do i go?? part of me wants to stay in las vegas....everyone bags on the city here (even me!) but i dont want to be away from my family! my sister's kids are young and i love to be around them, and my family is all getting along for the first time in a long time. but what if im making the wrong choice staying here? what if im making the wrong choice leaving? when i went away for undergrad, i was in san diego for 2 and 1/2 years before i couldnt hack it, got really homesick and came back to go to unlv. so what do i do if i go out of state and im home again in a year? life is so scary!!! im worried that the choices i make wont lead me down a positive and happy road. but i guess its all in my mind....ill be happy if i go into it with an open and optimistic opinion, i hope! im worried of rejection as well. ive worked very hard in college, and it scares me that my best might be rejected from colleges i really want to attend. this is scarier than regular undergrad because im older, and my moves from here on out really do affect my future. so far ive only applied to asu and unlv. i have 3 more colleges to go.....im just scared!! i hope i grow up soon!

My Thursday Thirteen

2006-01-05T13:22:00.000-08:00

Thirteen Things about RACHAEL!!!!!this is my first thursday thirteen, so im going to do thirteen things i love to do when i am bored......

1. I love to lay on my back at the park and try to invent crazy images in the clouds

2. I am thoroughly obsessed with the Lifetime Movie Network! I stay in bed Saturday and Sunday afternoons watching the crazy movies.

3. When I am sad, I make collages. I cut out shapes, words, pictures and anything beautiful i find in magazines, books and drawings and I make a huge collage on a posterboard. All of the words must be positive and inspirational so my soul feels revived and happy when i look at my finished masterpiece.

4. The coolest thing ever is to analytically dissect music videos on MTV and VH1. We all know the words, so its very interesting to see the musician's interpretation of their lyrics brought to life. And theyre so awesome to make fun of afterwards.

5. I write out cards to my friends just to let them know they're on my mind or I text them to say hello and have a good day

6. I walk around target when im bored on my lunch break while Im on the phone with Jen. Target is so fun and you can find some crazy stuff if you look in the right place.

7. MySpace is just awesome when youre bored. I love trying to find random people I went to highschool with. And I like trying to make my page look more crazy all the time!

8. Days of Our Lives is another guilty pleasure of television when I am bored at home. I love the drama!!! And Carrie and Austin came back to the show and Im keeping my fingers crossed they get back together!

9. "Spring Cleaning" is a good option when youre bored. A clean house means a clean mind! And its nice to find shit Ive kept since 1988.

10. My niece and my nephew. Their innocence and happiness towards life just brings a smile to my face. I love their simplistic views and childlike nature. They turn any sad day into a happy one!

11. Dancing. It sounds stupid, but I love to put music on and lip-synch and dance around my room like a dork. Its uplifting however!

12. Dana's Dirt and Pink is the New Blog are GREAT!! I love gossip and their so easy to get to while Im at work. I love laughing at K-Fed and Paris....theyre so idiotic!

13. Last but not least....My blog is my newfound source of amusement in times of boredom, and I love to read everyone else's as well!! Keep em coming!
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Vegas, whatcha thinking??

2006-01-04T16:52:00.000-08:00

so, i went to get my hair did this afternoon, and i came across 944 Magazine, a free publication here in Vegas promoting the nightlife (clubs, restraunts, etc) real estate, cars and other fun toys. Throughout the mag are several lay outs of specific "club nights", which is when the magazine hits clubs on certain nights where all the "cool" people are hanging to promote the club and the city. But as I leafed through the pages of this unintelligent, idiotic subject matter magzine, i asked myself, "What in the WORLD is going on in Vegas???" Though coined Sin City (and obviously for good reason) Vegas is just lacking in moral value. There is no culture, women parade themselves around like their hunting for the kill and the men just sit around and drink while they grope these women. But why do women participate in this kind of self-esteem reducing behavior? Do they really like it and feel more fulfilled or complete? Do they feel like they need to dress this way to be accepted or desired? As a woman, I know I was raised to appreciate myself and my body more than wearing my underwear out to a club. But the question is WHY do these women do this? WHAT do they feel it will accomplish or provide them with? and HOW to they actually leave their houses without feeling very cold? Please people....help me out!!! I am a woman and I am confused by my own people!!!!!! One thing's for sure....I will never raise an impressionable teenage daughter here!!

On another note, as a student working at a rather successful Nevada magazine, who the hell funds and advertises with 944?? It is such a pointless publication, and as a journalist-hopeful, this magazine discourages me as to what a journalist's purpose, integrity, ethics and faith is all about. This mag isnt startling news about the city, it isnt insight to some sort of intelligent matter and it isnt bettering the public in any way, shape or form....please 944, its time for you to be put to sleep so Vegas can have morally-uplifting publications!!!!

PS....shout out to my best friend jen who hooked up the links on my page! She is my hetero soul mate and a very awesome chick! Check out her blog too! :)

my new blog!!!!! read it and weep! :)

2006-01-03T10:20:00.000-08:00

ok so much to my dismay, my job sucks right now. the world of an intern is not exciting 24/7. so i am succumbing to my bestest friend jen's advice and creating a blog. it is january 3rd....the start of 2006.....and since i am a writer but have forgotten about my journal, i figured that an online blog would be the next best thing. and people can also comment on my craziness and give me advice when i am confused, which actually happens quite often. ok so i am 23....still in freakin college....and an intern at a magazine. i love it for the most part. however, i quickly learned that this is the slow season and i am left surfing the net or whatever, while i twiddle my cute little thumbs in front of my computer. i havent even gone on my lunch break and i am left to watch the paint dry in the office.

but on to more important things....i try to make resolutions but i am not very good at keeping them. so i make the same one every january: to be the best person i can be and exert kindness upon a world that has forgotten to acknowledge our fellow man...or woman. now that the "holiday happiness" has lost its charm and worn off, people go right back to the norm and become not so very nice! so it is my resolution to smile at people, open the door for strangers, give money to the homeless, do a favor for someone, spend more time with my mom and dad before i actually buck up and move out, tell the people i love that i love them....yes, complete with chessiness!!! well, from this point forward i hope you enjoy my blog, im sure ill write like 5 times a day....its better than tearing my hair out due to boredom! :) peace out